Rebel Women vs. Yankee Women

Rebel Women vs. Yankee Women Many stories have been told about the Civil War; there is the story of Gettysburg, Stonewall Jackson’s death, Robert E. Lee leading his solders, and many more. However, we only hear the smallest amount of information about what the wives of these soldiers are doing. It would be interesting to dig deep into the details of the support army general wives gave, what the government expected from women of both sides of the war, and the main differences of lifestyle back on the home front.
Women were a huge part of the Civil War and supported the soldiers in many ways. My goal is to find the difference between the support Robert E. Lee’s wife and George Meade’s spouse gave. Robert E. Lee was an outstanding leader so it is a wonder what sort of support he received other than from his soldiers and assistants. George Meade was also an interesting character of the war and took reign at a difficult time, right before Gettysburg; he would have needed some emotional support. Mary Anna Randolph Custis was General Lee’s wife, married in 1831.
Even though many women were not educated, Custis had a fine education and was intelligent. Mary’s mother, Molly, was a huge advocate for freeing slaves and eventually had Mary believing in the same rights. They tried to weaken the harsh conditions of slavery and let their own slaves free. However, they were not quite convinced African Americans should be part of the society. 1 Mary had many suitors; she turned down requests from distinguished cousins, Sam Houston and two sons from the Revolutionary war hero, Harry Lee.

It was believed that there were few worthy of her love, but Robert E. Lee claimed it. He was a distant cousin to her and a childhood friend. Although others thought their finances and sexual life was a scandal, they were wedded. The life of a military wife that Mary had to begin living was a worry to General Lee. She grew up sophisticated and had a wealthy life. Mary, even though she missed her childhood home, followed Robert Lee to his field posts.
She spent much of the time drawing and would only return home for pregnancy or illness. Through the war she had wished her husband would leave the army, but she stuck with him through it. It is not odd to wonder how she mustered the strength to raise seven children, follow her soldier husband and stay sane. Many would say that focusing on her artwork helped with the extensive traveling. After Virginia succeeded, Mary told her husband that she would support any choice he made. 2 Mrs.
General Lee was a very loyal wife and showed her support towards the Confederates after feeling pushed away by the North. She would visit hospitals of soldiers and knit socks for the ill men. A neighbor tells this about the Lee home: “People came to talk of victory or sorrow; they could stay here if they had nowhere to go…The brightness of her nature amidst uncertainty and pain, was wonderful. ”3 An inspirational image of her is her sitting on her home porch knitting while there is fire in the street.