Why Do People Fall in Love Critical Essay

A question many of us find us asking ourselves in today’s society. Many of us have been hurt by love and therefore have refused to neither use nor believe that there is such a word or feeling that exists in the universe. People fall in love for many reasons; some don’t even know why they end up in love. I believe people fall in love for three life-based reasons, to expand the self and to increase our abilities and our effectiveness in other words self-expansion, lack of self-dependency, Last but certainly not least they have something good to offer and they want something good in return.
I myself have been thru all these stages of “Love” as we all call it and have come to a conclusion thru my own two eyes and hands on or should I say feelings on experience. The first reason people fall in love is to expand themselves thru other people also known as self-expansion. In his book “Self-expansion: a NEW! Integrated paradigm for psychology” author Miklos Fodor describes very clearly how people expand themselves with one another. He created a model called Fodormiks Integrated Paradigm for Psychology (FIPP).
The model describes many forms of human behavior from sex, religion, problem solving and even intimate relations. Upon reading the first couple of pages of the book I learned that the amount of money where you live and yourself can all affect who you fall in love with. If you’re wealthy you are a target of love to someone who wants to expand their business or find funding for something which the person couldn’t afford on their own. An example of self-expansion is in family’s that are wealthy and both husband and wife own businesses or assets that are in good use with each other.

The husbands company makes the leather for her fancy purses. Many people believe that this kind of love is wrong but it’s a form of love in which both parties are happy and successful. Another example of self-expansion is someone who feels they can accomplish more and succeed in life with some besides them. The feeling of being complete motivates the person to pursue a life of fulfillment. Take for instance Romeo and Juliet two lovers who fate was decided by the feelings expressed to each other in self-expansion. The second problem causing reason people fall in love is lack of self-dependency.
Many of us witness an individual in a relationship where they are not happy everyone advises them to leave and for some odd reason they claim they are in love. This type of love is brought on by growing up in a harsh unloving family, and they are glued to this person because when they were in distress that person put them at ease to the individual losing someone like that is something they just won’t do. Another reason this love is bought is the person is he/she gets whatever they want while they are with this person for some it could be a meal and the bills paid to others it could be a lavish life-style.
A great quote that illustrates well what this person might be feeling is “I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of” written by Michel De Montaigne. The person knows the love is wrong but refuses to leave because simply they are afraid of not finding a better love. This quote also points out that the person is lost inside they don’t know what exactly they are here for in life or what exactly it is they are searching for in a relationship.
Lack of self-dependency to my opinion is a horrible reason to be in love but many people in the world depend on this love to get them thru, sad to say this is the type of world we live in. The final reason I believe people fall in love is because they have something good to offer and they want something back in return. Now I believe in this love 100% but some say it’s wrong. In today’s society the relationships that work out are relationships in which both parties are offering something to each other.
An example of this type of love maybe the wife is a great cook and the husband loves to eat, while in return the husband works on the car clean or does anything to which he believes he can pay the wife for here great cooking. Another way this type of love is manifested in the form of making the significant other feels special. In this type of relationship the trade-offs could range from a number of things, happiness for wealth or wealth for happiness, it could also be a sexual trade off. No matter what in this type of relationship if the person isn’t receiving something in return there is no possible way the relationship is going to work.
Some people feel if they love someone more than they love themselves that person to is going to do the same for them, but as we all can see it doesn’t always turn out that way. Some people offer there time, money and efforts to attain the feeling of being loved and end up hurt in the end. I believe all love is false but is used as a way to cope with living with some of life’s hardest decision and it’s always good to have someone by your side thru these times but understanding love can help you attain and reach that level of love and happiness in life.
In closing words to the feelings we find ourselves calling love, people fall in love for three life-based purposes to expand the self and to increase our abilities and our effectiveness in other words self-expansion, lack of self-dependency, Last but certainly not least they have something good to offer and they want something good in return. People expand themselves every day in every relationship decision we make or think of making weather done conscious or unconscious the mind has a life of its own and who you fall in love with is determined by many objects and situations surrounding you.
Also people fall in love due to what I call lack of self-dependency. It’s a good thing to be in love but make sure it’s a love where both people are benefitting and are happy. Don’t let life’s bad mishaps determine who you fall in love with and the reasons you fall in love. And finally the ultimate reason to fall in love is having something good and offering it to some in returns for a better or equal something. In this love the amount of love you choose to give is the amount of love you get back, you don’t have to ever worry about this love when you encounter it, just embrace close your eyes and never let go.
This is the love of feeling of matter of each other’s happiness this is the love I believe that we all should share with each other it would just make things better in the world that we live in.
SOURCES http://www. quotegarden. com/self-discovery. html http://www. yoshke. com/2010/02/top-10-reasons-to-fall-in-love/ “Self-expansion: a NEW! Integrated paradigm for psychology” By Milkos Fodor http://www. 2knowmyself. com/relationship_breakups/why_do_we_fall_in_love