african history paper edit

FRom professor about attached paper. Need paper fixed. You have read about the account and you do write about it in your own words.  The paper lacks coherence and organization.  There is no thesis statement.  Write a strong thesis statement by crafting an introductory paragraph that explains your argument.  You do a good job of summing up what happened but not isolating a factor to examine.  For example, Barton goes beyond “mis-management” to examine factors such as demography (population and population movement), Senegal’s postcolonial economy and the postcolonial state that relies on agriculture from the south to feed the north…. these are the larger structural issues that account for the tragedy rather than who is to blame. By focusing on one factor, each paragraph relates back to your thesis to make your argument.  Pay attention to your writing.  Proofread for sentence structure, word choice, and verb tense.  I am not sure why you have Barton’s 2019 teaching tool listed here when this is not the source that you were to use for the assignment.