Admission Essay & Who is your biggest influence in life?

In my life, the most influential personality has been of my mother. She has been of great help to me throughout my life.  Because of a civil war in Ethiopia, my home country, my father was forced to flee to Sudan.  The wives and children of men who fled were dying of hunger and dehydration.

 Even I would have met an unfortunate fate if my mother had not taken care of me. She sacrificed her belongings and happiness to nourish me. Because of all the things that she did for me, she has been the most influential personality in my life.

For all the things that she has done for me, she has never asked for anything in return. She just wants to see me as a well-educated girl. She believes that education will be a key to success for me. She keeps reminding me that with education, I will be able to secure my future.
My mother looks so happy when she talks about education and how it will benefit me in the future. She has been an inspiration for me throughout my life. It is because of her that I have reached this far.
Eleven years after my father fled to Sudan, I and my mother came to America- the land of opportunities. I could not be happier than I was at the time when I saw my father.  Sometime after we came to America, my father passed away.
I was then at the mercy of my mother who was very kind and supportive of me. She took great pains to bring me up in this big new country. It is because of all these things that I place a great value on my mother and have chosen her as a person who has had a great influence on me throughout my trying life.
Why do you want to attend this school?
When I was coming to America, I was excited about all the opportunities that awaited me here. One of them was the provision of quality education.
I really looked forward to attending a reputed university. My parents have always dreamt of seeing me as a well-educated person. Before my father left this world, he always advised me to get good education. Now, I want to make my mother and deceased father proud of me by obtaining quality education. To this end, UMass Boston is the gateway to my dream and I am determined to change my life.
I want to attend UMass Boston for its diverse student body and high-quality faculty. While attending UMass Boston, I will avail the opportunity to be taught by the highly-esteemed faculty of yours.  A diverse student body will offer me a chance to learn from their rich experiences. I will also have an opportunity to study among students who will have an urge to learn.
My financial standing does not allow me to pay a high fee of any institute but UMass Boston’s fee is affordable. So, another reason that I want to attend UMass Boston is its financial affordability.
I am sure that my stay at UMass Boston will be a meaningful one. It will enable me to excel in my chosen field of study. I also believe that I will be a good addition to your university.