for JoyMercy

Not all conflicts are over insurmountable problems. In a room full of people, if you ask how many prefer that a roll of toilet paper hang over the roll or prefer it hang under the roll, you will get a near even split. Yet, everyone will admit that it really bugs him/her/them if someone puts the roll on “the wrong way.” In the following narrative, a couple discusses another issue that may not seem significant to other people but if it is not resolved, it may ruin their relationship. The purpose of this activity is to apply correctly the key concepts, principles, and suggestions from Chapter 4 to the case study.

Read the following case study and the instructions that follow it.

“My friend and I both struggle with our emotional problems. Lately, we have both worked on areas in our lives. She is trying to assert herself more. I am at a point in my life where I cannot take any more advice on how to run my life; I feel micromanaged when people give this kind of advice. I need to start thinking about what I want to be, not what everyone else tells me I should be. Unfortunately, these two areas have run into each other. She feels she needs to tell me how she feels about everything, including how I act. For example, she told me the other day that I should just say, “I can’t go with you today,” instead of giving a long explanation. She told me that when I give a long explanation, it seems as though I am trying to make up an excuse and that I just don’t want to go with her. I told her I really couldn’t handle that kind of criticism right now, and she said, “No problem.” Two days later, we got into it again when she got mad at me for something that wasn’t my fault. She still believes she should assert herself and tell me exactly what is on her mind, and I still cannot handle it right now. It’s a stalemate.”

The original version of this case study appears in Cahn, D., & Abigail, R.A. (2014), Managing conflict through communication (5th Edition), p. 104.