help rewriting the essay

  
Well, starting with how I met depression. At the age of 12, I lost my grandfather to Cancer. It was a shock for me to hear that my grandfather is gone. I still remember when my older sister came to me crying, and told me that our grandfather passed away. I pushed her and said no! You’re lying. I went to my mother and asked where my grandfather was. She hugged me and cried badly. I wasn’t prepared for at this sad news, because my grandfather was everything to me. I then ran towards his room to see him but I found nobody there. I started shouting and calling my grandfather. I used to call him daddy. I was shouting dadddyyy where are you? Daddy, daddy. But he didn’t answer me. Usually when I came back from school I shouted daddy where you are? And most of the times he was in the living room hiding behind the curtains, trying to scare me by making all sort of sounds. I knew that there’s no ghost over there, that it my grandfather but I used to overreact as if I was afraid and then he hugged me, took out sweets from his pocket and said” My doll is getting afraid, next time I’ll scold this ghost who scares my little princess. After that, we both laughed together. I used to tell him my whole day routine, everything I have done in school. All the stories and incidents that happened over there. And he used to suggest how to react in every situation. What’s good or bad for me? I was attached to my grandfather a lot. He meant the world to me. I remember when was ill. He was diagnosed with liver cancer. I was only 11 years old then, I didn’t know exactly what sort of this disease it was. My father used to take daddy to the hospital everyday, and I wasn’t allowed to go with them. Those days were worst day of my life. I used to write letters to my daddy that it was okay if I am not supposed to see you but I needed to you etc.  He started chemotherapy therapy, and this was not an easy treatment to deal with. There are ups and downs. And there was a time came when doctors clearly said that he can die at any time. After listening to this life-ending sentence, my father cried badly. He used to spend his most of the time with daddy. One day, when I was back from school, my father came and said daddy is calling you. I was like oh wow now I can meet him after a week. And I rushed towards his room. As I entered he was lying on his bed, for an instance I thought that he is someone else. He was not looking like my daddy. He became too weak. And then I asked my father he is not my daddy. Where he is? My father didn’t replied but left the room while crying. I was staring at my daddy. And when he called me “my little princess come here” I recognized his voice. I ran towards him and asked what had happened to you? He said nothing I am fine. But you know one day everybody has to leave this planet. You have to make a promise to me that you will take a lot of care of your parents. You will become my brave girl. You will always consider what I taught to you. At that moment he was holding my hand and I clearly remember that drops from his eyes touched my hand. And that point I can clearly feel my heartbeat. I also started crying. I asked him why you’re saying all of this. He in return only smiled. And the next day he was died. 7-sep-2005. 
After all of this, I didn’t went to school for around two weeks. I thought my life has ended up here. I didn’t talk to any of my friends or family. Whenever anyone tries to talk to me I used to ignore them. i was on silent mode completely. I used to have my daddy’s picture and I always talk to that picture. At that I used to cry a lot. Like my whole day was spent only crying. I didn’t take my proper meal. I started thinking that I can die at any time. Because the one person I loved the most has left me now how I can imagine my life without him. My family used to talk to me normally as if nothing has happened. My mother bought games and different toys so that I can move on in my life but I was getting into depression. My sister usually asks me always that what I am feeling or what is going inside me. But I always ignore her. I used to cry whenever I was alone. My mother forcefully sent me school so that I can divert my mind but this didn’t worked actually. I was not getting out of that my daddy has left me. My mother then took all of daddy’s photos from me. She used to say always that she and my father is there for me. Why I am so sad. My sadness won’t make my daddy happy. In short she tried every possible thing to get me back in life but she failed. I didn’t sleep for many days. My eyes were swelled. I always started talking about death. I used to read death stories. How a person dies what happens then. And then I imagine all this as if it is happening with me. Whenever I used to come back from my school I always miss that how my daddy was there always to make me surprise but now all of these were hurting me inside She realized this thing when my mother’s friend who was a psychologist came to our home. She asked my mother that why sarah is looking so weak. My mother then told her all what has happened. She asked my mother whether she can talk to me alone or not. My mother allowed her. She came into my room. She didn’t ask my why I’m like this. Rather she started talking normally. She was telling her own stories. And in between she started crying. Though I wasn’t paying much attention to her stories but when she started crying I asked her that what has had happened? She was said she has lost her parents in a car accident. Now she is all alone. I stared at her. And thought that if she has lost her parents then how can she laugh even? But the way she did my counselling made me realize that yes I have lost my daddy but still I have my parents and friends around. She used to spend 2-3 hours on daily basis. She used to play with me like my daddy and she made me feel as if my daddy is somewhere around me. She was the one who made me realize that life didn’t end up here. Healing was a way long process. But throughout my depression she was with me, my parents my friends they all helped me a lot. Because I started thinking I can die like my daddy. Depression was a horrible thing to go through, but it did make me appreciate life. That I have my parents, my sister and my friends around. Then I started taking interest in my studies so that my daddy would be proud of me up there that his little princess has got a position in her class. It took almost a year to get back normal in life. But whenever I used to remember the time which I have spent with my daddy I still feel that there’s some slot free inside me. That slot can only be filled by my daddy, I miss him a lot. 
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