Managing interpersonal conflict

Conflicts happen especially when individuals come together and interact with each other. Sometimes, a relationship with conflicts can be healthier than one which seems to go smoothly but have underlying resistances. Interpersonal conflicts occur when people have troubles in managing an issue which lead to pain and resentments. But when these conflicts are handled well, there is understanding and closeness. , Sometimes people do not readily face conflicts because they are afraid that it will go out of control.
Some have difficulties in asserting themselves while others are just to shy to bring it out in the open. Recently, I was involved in an interpersonal conflict involving a group I was working out with in a school project. The professor had divided the class into groups and I was assigned to a group with diverse interests and personalities. Since I have some experience in facilitating discussions, I initially wanted to involve everyone so that they would all participate in the activity.
Seeing that I was taking an active role in the group, the members volunteered me to be their leader. Of course I did not want that to happen since I am used to asking everyone’s opinion first. I looked at each one and asked them how they think we need to proceed. We had to present our findings after an hour and so we had to be more systematic with our moves. Each one readily agreed that I facilitate the discussion. After that one member immediately monopolized the discussion as he gave his thoughts on how he wants the results to come out.

So, I countered by saying that we can start with a brainstorming on what we ought to present and reiterate that there since it was brainstorming, there was no right or wrong answer. I looked at those members whose arms were crossed and were just onlookers and urged them to participate in the activity. Then, another strong member was becoming a bully as he heckled with the first one and said that he must not control the whole group. This was contradicted by the first one who said that he was not controlling the group at all but just saying his thoughts.
At this point, the previously silent members already volunteered to speak out, calmly telling the group that they must not let their self-interest distract the group activity. At this point, I asked that I be given a chance to speak and told them that our task is actually easy and will be well presented if we just listen to each other and not personally interject their thoughts just like that. The heat was surely rising and I remembered one of the response styles in a conflict was to get angry and blames the other person.
I know that this stance is not fruitful at all in resolving a conflict and in fact only serves to increase friction between participants magnifying defensiveness. I thought that I needed to act right that moment and call an order to the discussions. I knew that the purpose of creating collaborative teams is to build each member’s operations and to ensure the alignment of each member. It was an upfront process that looks at the members conversations in an in-depth manner. I needed to keep a close watch on the quality of work relationships and addressed them immediately.
It strikes me that manipulating group process is a good way of sabotaging it (Gibson 2000). So, even if I wanted the process to move faster than it was proceeding, I just let go of my own self-interests and just help them iron out what was going on.
REFERENCES Gibson, J. , Ivancevich J. , & Donnelly, J. (2000). Organizations: Behavior, structure, processes (10th ed. ). Boston: Mcgraw-Hill Higher Education. International Conflict and Effective Communication. Retrieved April 2, 2009 at: http://www. drbalternatives. com/articles/cc2. html