I have heard all my life how men and women should be classified as different species. How we react to things, our perceptions of different events, and how we communicate are just a few differences between men and women. Deborah Tannen hits a few of the major differences in communication styles between men and women. All of them I completely agree with. With her statement, “Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest, either to achieve the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For many women, however, talking is typically often a way to exchange confirmation and support,” I believe this one is true to an extent. (Tannen, 2016, p. 632) I think men are indirectly taught they have to be the best. I think it is something psychologically taught to them somehow or maybe ingrained in their DNA. That being said, when describing the comments made about having jobs in different cities, the author did not specify whether men or women had made the comments. If it came from a man it could be that they were trying to one-up him, or it could be that that is just how his brain is wired. In my opinion, if you follow the author’s thoughts, then the women were saying it out of support or empathy. Now the husband has the wife thinking that the women were trying to one-up her. It is honestly a bad thing all the way around. I believe it is true that men and women do communicate differently. I also believe it has to change. The author took the first step in pointing out differences. She is very effective by providing detailed examples mostly anyone can relate to. Each example is effective because she shows both the male and female perspective and the why behind it. She concludes the example by showing how we can see the opposing persons’ view. My personal experience has been very close to the car ride example. I could not tell you how many times I have done something similar to just this and gotten the exact response from my boyfriend and we have gotten upset with each other. I literally laughed and then made him read it. We agreed we can work on our communication starting there. I am glad that we had to read this honestly it gave an amazing perspective.
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